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Feeding Therapy at the Thanksgiving Table: Keeping Mealtimes Joyful, Not Stressful
Feeding challenges don’t take holidays off — and that’s okay.
This Thanksgiving, we’re focusing on comfort, connection, and small steps forward.
Your child deserves to feel safe at the table.
Written by Kristie Owens
November 2025
The holidays are supposed to be a time of togetherness, laughter, and gratitude, but for many families of children in feeding therapy, the Thanksgiving table can feel like a minefield of well-meaning comments, unfamiliar foods, and big emotions.
If your child has a limited diet or struggles with new foods, you’re not alone. For kids who experience sensory sensitivities, medical complexities, or anxiety around eating, even the smell of a turkey roasting can feel overwhelming. Add the noise of a crowded room, changes in routine, and relatives encouraging “just one bite,” and it’s easy to see why many children (and parents) feel stressed before the first plate is served.
The good news? With a bit of planning and a gentle, low-pressure approach, rooted in principles from approaches like SOS, you can shift Thanksgiving from a stressful experience into a chance for connection, curiosity, and small steps forward (Toomey, n.d.).
Download our Thanksgiving Core-Board and Coloring Book!
Start With What Feels Safe
Every child deserves to feel comfortable and included at the table. One simple way to help is by bringing one or two of your child’s safe foods, the ones they trust and enjoy. This might be their favorite crackers, chicken nuggets, or a specific applesauce pouch.
When possible, present it as something they’re sharing with the family:
“Jamie brought his favorite pretzels for everyone to try!”
This not only helps your child feel proud and included but also communicates to others that safe foods are part of the plan, not a sign of picky behavior.
Safe foods act as anchors of stability. Even if your child doesn’t touch anything else on the table, seeing and having familiar food helps their nervous system remain calmer, making it more likely they’ll explore new foods in the future.
Practice Before the Big Day (Using SOS-Inspired Principles)
In the SOS Approach to Feeding, one of the guiding ideas is that intrinsic motivation and respect for the child’s pace are essential. Therapy should always meet the child where they are and avoid forcing or bribing to eat (Toomey, n.d.).
If your child shows curiosity about Thanksgiving foods, you can plan low-pressure practice sessions at home in the weeks before. You can begin with visual exposure (pictures, storybooks, talking about foods) and gradually move to real, physical interactions.
Invite your child to help scoop mashed potatoes, stir the cranberry sauce, or simply sit nearby while you cook.
Talk about what you notice:
“Mmm, that smells so good.”
“The rolls are getting puffy!”
“It feels warm when the steam comes out.”
The idea is to replace expectation with observation and conversation. Let your child guide how much they interact. SOS encourages play-with-purpose, activities that foster comfort and curiosity, not games that distract or pressure (Toomey, n.d.).
The goal isn’t to get them to eat the food immediately, but to help them become more comfortable around it. That sense of safety and control is the foundation for future progress.
Defining “Play”, Especially in Therapy
In therapy or developmental work, play doesn’t mean chaos or lack of rules. It means an activity that feels safe, enjoyable, and engaging, while teaching or practicing a skill.
So, “play” in feeding therapy isn’t about making a mess with food. It’s about creating positive, structured experiences that help children explore and tolerate new sensations.
That might look like:
Using a spoon to “scoop and tap” a new texture.
Pretending a carrot is a rocket to make it less intimidating.
Touching a food, then wiping it off, and being praised for that small step.
It’s structured, supported, and purposeful, a bridge between curiosity and comfort, not between chaos and control. When children feel safe and engaged, they’re more likely to build trust and curiosity, the two ingredients that make lasting progress possible.
Understanding Sensory Overload & Regulation
Holidays are loud, bright, and full of new sensations, exactly the kind of environment that can overwhelm a child’s sensory system. For some children, smells of multiple foods, the clatter of dishes, or background chatter can feel intense.
The SOS Approach emphasizes that when a child shows signs of stress or dysregulation, adults should pause, slow down, and support regulation before continuing (Toomey, n.d.). A child in distress has less capacity to engage with new foods or remain curious.
You can help by:
Creating a calm corner: Bring headphones, a favorite fidget, or a weighted lap pad.
Maintaining predictability: Show your child what to expect, a visual schedule, pictures of rooms, or a simple talk-through of the timeline.
Using gentle transitions: Instead of “Come eat now,” try “Dinner’s almost ready. Do you want to come sit by me or bring your plate when you’re ready?”
When regulation comes first, learning can follow.
It’s Okay if They Don’t Try Everything
At big gatherings, it’s easy to feel pressure, from yourself or others, for your child to “at least taste something.” But feeding therapy (and SOS) teaches that progress isn’t measured by bites taken, it’s measured by comfort, confidence, and curiosity (Toomey, n.d.).
If your child eats only their familiar foods, that’s okay. If they nibble or skip the meal and eat later, that’s okay too. Trust takes time, and regulation always comes first.
If you’re dining away from home, pack a small plate of familiar foods your child enjoys. It’s not “giving in”, it’s meeting them where they are, so they can be part of the celebration in a way that feels safe.
What to Say When Relatives Don’t Understand
Many parents of selective eaters hear variations of:
“They’ll eat when they’re hungry.”
“In my day, kids ate what was on the table.”
“If you stop making special meals, they’ll learn.”
You can respond calmly with:
“We’re helping them build comfort and trust around food; it’s a process.”
Or,
“They’re in feeding therapy, and we’re following their therapist’s plan.”
Most people mean well; they just don’t understand feeding challenges. A simple, confident reply both sets boundaries and invites empathy.
You don’t owe anyone a long explanation but offering a short one can shift the narrative from judgment to support.
Celebrate Connection, Not Consumption
It’s easy to focus on what our kids don’t eat. But feeding therapy (and SOS) encourages us to celebrate every small step, sitting at the table, smelling a new food, helping pass a dish, or laughing with family. These moments build trust and positive associations more than any single bite ever could.
The most meaningful holiday memories aren’t about perfect plates, they’re about connection, belonging, and acceptance.
Parent Tip: What “Low-Pressure Exposure” Looks Like
Wondering what counts as progress? Here are safe, respectful steps your child can take, on their terms:
Looking at a new food on the table
Talking about how it looks, smells, or feels
Helping to prepare or serve food
Touching or smelling a new food
Licking or taking a small taste if they choose
Each of those is a valid success. Remember: we aren’t chasing bites. We’re building trust, comfort, and agency (Toomey, n.d.).
Final Thought: Gratitude Over Goals
At the end of the day, Thanksgiving is about gratitude, thanking our children’s bodies for small steps, thanking ourselves for showing up with patience, and thanking those who choose compassion over judgment.
Feeding therapy, especially when guided by the SOS Approach, is a journey. If your child spends Thanksgiving smiling, connecting, or simply feeling safe, that’s a success worth celebrating.
May your table be filled with warmth, grace, and the gentle reminder that every step forward deserves a big helping of gratitude
Free Resource for Families
To help your child get ready for Thanksgiving, we’ve created a Thanksgiving Communication Board and Coloring Book, a visual way to explore holiday foods and practice mealtime language together. The coloring pages introduce familiar and new foods through pictures and simple descriptions, while the communication board gives children the words to express what they see, smell, like, or don’t like at the table.
Download your free set below and start building comfort and confidence long before the big meal!
References
Toomey, K. A. (n.d.). SOS Approach to Feeding core principles. SOS Approach to Feeding. Retrieved October 16, 2025, from https://sosapproachtofeeding.com/sos-approach-feeding-core-principles/
